Endo Follow Up

Today was my follow up appointment at my endo office. I was able to see my routine NP who had no idea I was even hospitalized. It was an interesting conversation we had to get her all caught up. We also discussed communication within the office and she gave me her personal contact info if I ever feel I need it. At some point I will also be writing a letter for the office manager and managing MD regarding how the situation was handled on their end. It was careless, dangerous, and unprofessional.

The regimen I was given last week by their office has been changed to something suitable for ‘long term’ since I’m not sure when I will be able to transition back to an insulin pump due to financials. Tomorrow I will start a long active (24 hour insulin) for my basal insulin in addition to short acting insulin for meal time bolus and corrections. I’m also trying an oral medication to help with my insulin resistance. If that works out it will allow me to injection a lower total volume of insulin daily.

The NP advised me the issues with my vision can take weeks to months to recovery but it more than likely will be what it was before or close to it. My next follow up with her is in 8 weeks at which point they will check my kidney function again. My a1C in the office today was 9.8% which is up from only 6 weeks ago when it was 6.7%. At the time I was concerned about that number because it was the highest it’s even been since diagnosis. I understand now that this number is all relative to each situation. Yes, shit hit the fan but shit happens. This number will only improve going forward.

Upon showing her my logs from the last 5 days (since hospital discharge) she is impressed with all of my numbers and thinks I’m doing very well. The new regimen that I will start tomorrow will be just as successful but will require extra caution and monitoring for a few days. Nothing I haven’t done before.

Thank you to all taking the time to read this blog. It’s been a great way for me to get my story and feelings out. It’s also serving as a way to keep family up to date on my progress. I greatly appreciate the love and support. Thank you for asking questions and wanting to understand all that you can. It means so much.

The Aftermath

The past week has been a whirlwind and time has flown by. Emotionally and physically I’m just tired. Worn out. I’m scared and stressed. I’m not myself. People are checking on me, asking me how I’m feeling and that is thoughtful. However, I’ve reached the point where I say “I’m fine” even though I’m not. I don’t want to say how I’m really feeling because I don’t want to appear negative. I don’t want to attempt to explain what I’m going through because I don’t think people understand. I honestly don’t feel like trying to explain myself and attempting to make my concerns legitimate. I know they are legitimate and that should be all that matters.

My blood sugars have been in range since being discharged from the hospital and taking my insulin which is great. Then there is the flip side… I’ve been battling terrible headaches/migraines and problems with my vision. Ordinarily I have perfect vision and do not wear glasses or contacts. Now I find everything is blurry with the exception of things further away. I had to buy +1.75 magnifying glasses in order to see and function at work. It’s scary to think there is a chance this will not improve. Only time will tell.

I’m sitting quietly at work putting on a smile when I have to all while there is a storm raging inside me. I want to go home and hide from the world. Since stress and anxiety effects my blood sugar I’m trying my best to avoid it but it’s easier said than done. I ate the exact same meal today as I did yesterday and took my insulin and tested at the same times. My blood sugar is running 40 points higher today than yesterday. It’s one of those days. I’m not trying to be negative but life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. It takes a lot of energy (that I don’t have right now) to pretend things are better than they are. I’m a realist who is entitled to a few bad days here and there. I find myself in a challenging time in my life but I’m fighting my way through it. Sometimes, I just need a break.